What happens if you cut off your left hand?

You would be all right.

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What happened when the sausage came in first?

An announcer said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wiener!"

What happened to Mr. Potato Head when he smoked weed?

He got baked.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The piano player can do that with his left hand.

What do you have if you are holding a mothball in your right hand and a mothball in your left hand?

A. A **VERY** large moth...

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What did the college junior say just before her toe was cut off?

NO PLEASE DON'T CUT OFF MY TOE!

How do you cut pizza?

With Little Ceasar's.