What is the best stand-up routine of our time?

I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared.

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette.

What do you call a guy who stands under a bull?

Understandabull

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?

When the power goes off.

Why should you be sure to pay your exorcist on time?

You wouldn't want to get repossessed!

Nominate Jokes More Nominate Jokes

What's the real reason Lego Movie didn't get nominated for an Oscar?

They thought it was called "The Leo Movie".

Why did the farmer get nominated for an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field. Why didn't the farmer make it to the award ceremony Because he was out standing in his field.