What is the best way to get to Paradise?

A. Turn right and go straight.

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What do astronomers do when they have nowhere else to turn?

They default in our stars

What did 0 say to 1?

You're turning me on!

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Why is heaven a paradise for the common man?

Because all the politicians are in hell.

Where does every craps player want to go when they die?

Paradise.

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What's the best way to prepare baby food?

Shake'n bake.

What's the best way to milk a sheep?

Ask Apple.