Why is heaven a paradise for the common man?

Because all the politicians are in hell.

Previous Random Joke Next
Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What the hell is an Ovechkin?

The guy says "It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"

What material does Cayde-6 use to repair his armor after falling feet first into hell?

Nathan Filaments ( ) X-Post from /r/DestinyTheGame

Paradise Jokes More Paradise Jokes

Whose Idea of Paradise is 72 Virgins?

Richard Branson.

Where does every craps player want to go when they die?

Paradise.

Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

What do you call it when seven minutes in heaven is played at Comic-Con?

A: Close encounters of the nerd kind

Why did the bear start playing music when the priest tried to absolve him of his sins?

Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What's the difference between a political speech and a stand-up comic show?

They both tell the audience what they are glad to hear. But at the end, the audience laughs at the comic, and the politician laughs at the audience.

What do politicians and diapers have in common?

Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.