What is the difference between a painting and jesus?

A painting only need one nail to hang

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Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What does a French carpenter say when he runs out of nails?

I haven't a clous.

What happened when the bike ran over a nail?

It popped a wheelie.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why is Instagram not working?

but "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

Why do people paint eggs for Easter?

Bunnies squirm too much.