Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

Why was the wife worried that her husband was a light drinker?

Every night, he'd go out and drink until it was light.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's the difference between my job and my boss's daughter?

I'm not coming into work today

Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they knead the dough.

Programmer Jokes More Programmer Jokes

Why do programmers celebrate Christmas on Halloween?

Because OCT 31 == DEC 25

What do you call a nation of programmers?

A developing country

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What happened when the Italian chef died?

He pasta away

What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age?

A: "Today children we will learn our ABC's"

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?

A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.

Who's there ! Cameron ! Cameron who ?

Cameron film are needed to take pictures !

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do?

Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. "Oh damn, shots fired!" But not by the pizza guy.

What's the difference between an Art major and a guy who mops bathrooms at KFC?

One has a job.

Little Bit Jokes More Little Bit Jokes

Why are men the best chefs?

Because with only 2 nuts, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, they can fill a woman's stomach for 9 months.

What's the difference between the NBA and a pint of Guinness?

Nothing. They're both mostly black, with a little bit of white at the top.