What's going on in this movie?

Him: Lin, I just hit play 90 seconds ago. Me: Wow! New record.

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Why doesn't Jesus play hockey anymore?

He kept on getting nailed into the boards.

What do you call it when Muslim men play naked twister?

Dinner entertainment at Guantanamo Bay

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Whats the last thing that goes through a fly's brain before it hits my car windshield?

Its arse.

What did the umpire say when Randy Johnson hit a bird with his pitch?

Fowl ball.

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How are whores and movies alike?

You pay up front for both and even if it's bad, you don't get a refund for either.

Which movie is on every man's bucket list?

Die Hard