What's the best thing about being born on 9/11/99?

You had the two biggest candles on your second birthday.

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Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

When two bears asked a pastor to marry them in the forest, what did he say?

Hold on, let me get my bear rings."

What is the name of a taxi service for bears?

Ubear.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

How can I waste ten seconds of someone's time and make total strangers hate me?

Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets

Which cat made it across?

The second cat because un deux trois cat sank.

Good Thing Jokes More Good Thing Jokes

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

Who knocks on doors at three in the morning?

It's so inconsiderate! Good thing I was still up playing my bagpipes.