What's the only thing an Irish person can hold on to?

A grudge.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How does an SJW screw in a light-bulb?

Zir holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around zirself.

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

How can a thing be heavier than it is?

T: No-sees it's almost 3 pm Magic

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

Why do the Irish serve up their chili with 139 beans?

Because one more would be one-farty bowl of chili!

What did the Irish farmer say to his cow when it climbed onto the roof of his barn?

A: Get off.

Irish Person Jokes More Irish Person Jokes

Where does an Irish person go on a vacation?

A: A new bar

What do you call and Irish person who stays outside all night?

Paddy O'Furniture

Grudge Jokes More Grudge Jokes

What's black, blue, and red all over?

The Grudge at a rave.

What's the only thing an Irish person can hold on to?

A grudge.