What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded

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What do you call a lawmaker in a society ruled by horses that says one thing but does the opposite?

A hippocratic hypocrite.

What is one thing you never say to a Muslim?

Share ya laws.

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How did the OBGYN win the election?

He was able to stirrup some controversy about his opponent with his effective smear campaign.

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

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What's better than getting gold in the Special Olympics ?

Being normal.

Whats better then a gold medal in the special Olympics?

Not being retarded.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics?

Having two legs

How would America win gold medals in shooting for the Olympics?

They take their prison population and school population to Rio.