Where can you go to send a soul to heaven?

An abortion clinic.

This joke may have profanity.

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What do Romulans and Vulcans do with their high school drop outs?

Send them to barber school.

How does a farmer send messages?

By e-i-e-i-o-mail.

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Who did the Dyslexic Devil Worshipper sell his soul to?

Santa

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

The nun has hope in her soul!

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What do you call a sacred, flammable piece of wood?

A match made in Heaven.

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A match maiden heaven

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