Why are dogs always SENSITIVE?

Because they have tears in their eyes

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Why were the vets and pounds mad?

It was raining cats and dogs

Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

What starts out happy but ends in tears?

Marriage

What did Eric Clapton do after he wrote Tears in Heaven?

Threw his baby out the window.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why were the teachers eyes so crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.

What do you prefer, honey?

A smart woman or a beautiful woman -Neither sweetie, you know I only have eyes for you