Why are high end clocks designed and made in Switzerland?

As they don't get arrested for doing their job as they do in America!

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Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year?

They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom.

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Why was the powerlifter fired from his job at the restaurant?

He was awesome at cleaning the bar, but he wouldn't stop jerking it.

How many Camera Assistants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five: One to do it and four to tell you how they did it on the last job.

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How many countries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Five. Germany to start it, France to try and then give up almost immediately, Italy to start, give up, and try again from the other side, America to finish it and claim credit for the whole thing, and Switzerland to sit in the dark and pretend that nothing happened.