Design Jokes

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

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Why can't American engineers design linear actuators?

Because they always try to maximize the degrees of freedom.

Why did they hire the police department to design a new superconductor?

STOP RESISTING!!!"

What do you call a bra designed for neutrois?

Ze-bra

What do you call a programming language designed for women?

An object oriented programming language.

How do you call a car designed for midgets?

Half a Romeo. I'll show myself out.

Why are dogs always thirsty?

Because water fountains were designed for humans! HEYOOOOOOO

Who designed Noah's ark?

An ark-itect !

Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.

What's the difference between a regular product and a fancy one?

The regular one says "Made in China". The fancy one says "Designed in the USA. Made in China."

How do you feel about perfumes being designed by computers?

Because I think it makes perfect scents.

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What do you get when BMW, Volkswagen, and Callaway design a car together?

A Mini Golf.

Why is there lipstick on your collar?

she yelled. "It's part of the design," I said, opening up my wardrobe, "Look, I have the entire collection."

What do you call someone who designs playgrounds?

A Park-itect

Why do programmers hate designing flood defence simulations?

Because of the overflow errors!

What do you call a social media platform designed for religious people who also have speech impediments?

Faithbook

Why are high end clocks designed and made in Switzerland?

As they don't get arrested for doing their job as they do in America!

How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

You're still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!"

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Bug Jokes More Bug Jokes

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Designer Jokes More Designer Jokes

What do designers of gum call new flavors from old ingredients?

ex-spearmints

What do you call it when two designers argue about what file type to export a graphic to?

Getting into a bit of a .tiff!

Prop Jokes More Prop Jokes

What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland?

Wooden shoe like me to tell you. Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one

How did Brandon Lee's wife get pregnant?

The prop guy said he was shooting blanks!

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What's the worst part about being a redneck?

Having to see your ex at family gatherings.

How many of my ex-girlfriends does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. Apparently she will screw anything.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many judges does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one he holds it still and the whole world revolves around him. Just one but two lawyers have to explain him how to do it.

What do you call a book club that hasn't changed their book in a thousand years?

Church

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

Whats your favourite brand of beer?

When i was younger, i used to drink any brand of beer, but now i am older Budweiser

When a rapper gets beer, how much do they get?

A Two Pack

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

Why don't they have bars in Syria?

Because, they prefer to get bombed at home.

Why are orphans terrible at baseball?

They've never known what home is.

Designate Jokes More Designate Jokes

When Arwen and Aragorn got married... was Frodo designated to be the Ring bearer?

edit Thanks KikifounUnui... not my main language TT

What do you call an Irishman who's had eight beers?

The designated driver.