How many of my ex-girlfriends does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. Apparently she will screw anything.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many talking heads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and another to spin the story until the bulb fits.

How many TSA agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. TSA agents only know how to remove clothes putting them on is different matter completely.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many women does it take. . . to screw in a lightbulb in a convent?

Nun.

How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many cats sawed in half does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently 10 aren't enough :

What should I do?

Me: Court her. Friend: Dude, I don't have any change...

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you call a girlfriend who does kegel exercises?

Your main squeeze.

What's the difference between my GoPro and my girlfriend?

I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What do you call your ex-girlfriend in Maryland?

Old bae.

What do you do when you miss your ex?

Reload and shoot again.