Why aren't any atheists buying a PS4 Pro?

They don't believe in higher power.

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How do hipsters buy their drugs?

by the instagram.

Why did the spider buy a car ?

So he could take it out for a spin !

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What's the dating scene like at MIT?

Carbon-14 is the most common method, I believe.

What traumatic event lead to you not believing in god?

Me: oh, um, science.

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How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists?

Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.

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Why can't atheists solve quadratic equations?

They don't believe in higher powers.

Why can't Athiests solve exponential problems?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.