Why aren't any atheists buying a PS4 Pro?

They don't believe in higher power.

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Why did the spider buy a car ?

So he could take it out for a spin !

What's the difference between a crackhead and a John?

A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him.

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What's the dating scene like at MIT?

Carbon-14 is the most common method, I believe.

What's a chinese chef's favorite song?

I believe I can fry.

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What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

An argument

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

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Why can't atheist solve exponential problems?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

Why can't atheists solve quadratic equations?

They don't believe in higher powers.