Why aren't you allowed to smile when taking your driver IDs?

Because you won't be smiling when the cops pull you over.

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Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?

I was asked on an internet forum. "Because you're not allowed to take them on planes," I answered.

What airline allows you to pee in cruise?

Wizz Air

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What's the difference between me and my new couch?

The couch pulls out...

Why is it so hard for an eighty year old woman to pee in the morning?

Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?!

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

Why do cars slow down when they see a cop has pulled someone over?

HE'S A LITTLE BUSY TO WORRY ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW DUMMIES

What do you call a cop who doesn't shoot innocent black people?

1. Acquitted 2. Fired, retired or expired

Smile Jokes More Smile Jokes

Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing ?

Because they're crab apples !

How do you compliment a girl with a cold sore?

You tell her that her smile is contagious.