Why aren't you married yet" is like asking "Why haven't you jumped from a moving car yet?

B/c it's painful and not required

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How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

What did the wall ask the picture?

All together now!) ***"How's it hangin' "*** Skip

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What does autocorrect and women have in common?

They both jump to concussion

How do you stop a black guy from jumping on a bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just two. It only requires that either the people are very small or the light bulb is very large.

Why did the T-Rex's girlfriend leave him?

Because he said he only loved her this much (hold out t-rex like arms) Sorry this one requires a bit of a visual, but I thought you guys might like it

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How did they invent break dancing?

Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.

Why aren't you married yet" is like asking "Why haven't you jumped from a moving car yet?

B/c it's painful and not required