Why can't the NSA leaker leave Russia?

Because he's Snow'd-in!

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How is a woman like KFC?

After you're done with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box.

How much time do I have left, doctor?

Doctor: 10 Guy: 10 what ! 10 days, 10 months, 10 years Doctor: 9...8...7...6...5...

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What song did Russia send Ukraine for its birthday?

Crimea a river

What do call the President of Russia with an upset stomach?

Vladimir Poopin

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Why does the NSA hate the winter?

They got snowed in.

What do you call an NSA whistle-blower spending the winter in Russia?

Edward Snowed-in