Why couldn't the Engineer Manager screw his wife?

Sorry I don't have the tools, I only supervise."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. They hold it in place and wait for the world to revolve around them.

What's the definition of divorce?

The screwing you get for the screwing you got!

Engineer Jokes More Engineer Jokes

How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw in the bulb and another to talk about how complicated it was.

Why do engineering students call themselves engineers?

You don't hear a law student call themselves a lawyer, or a gender studies student call themselves a barista.

Tool Jokes More Tool Jokes

What monsters are all the tools in the toolbox afraid of?

Vampliers

Why does no one like the swiss army?

Because they are all a bunch of tools.