Why did Comic Sans's girlfriend leave him?

He just wasn't her type.

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Why did the sheriff arrest the tree?

Because its leaves rustled.

What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital?

An Oncologist

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What type of stories do cocaine addicts write?

Snort stories

What type of wind is named after both a cat and a bat?

Katabatic

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Where does sans live?

Sans francisco

Why are the "sans" family of fonts so serious?

No one wants to be comic sans.