Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's the difference between Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger?

Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field.

What did the cow say to the slaughterhouse worker?

You want some beef

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between a paycheck and a pen*s?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?

Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

Where do children that die home alone go?

HEAVEN!!

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.

Why's he happy?

He got dog-piled. Me: He made a lot of groundage before getting put down. Husband: Yardage. Tackled. PLEASE LEAVE.