What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

What did the English man say when he walked in on his wife making love to three men?

Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How did 1337 Jesus escape his tomb?

X-Post from ProgrammerHumor) He used an encrypted key.

Why is Jesus bad at crossword puzzles?

He always gets stuck on 2 Across.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What's a ten-letter word meaning 'supplying nourishment'?

Sherlock replied, "Alimentary, my dear Watson."

How did Bruce and Alfred build the Batcave all by themselves?

The Lord: I meant any questions about the mysteries of existence

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

What do you call a plan to exterminate Hipsters?

The Vinyl solution.

What did the asteroid say when his trajectory missed earth?

I guess I didn't plan it very well!"

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why didnt the witch have any children?

Because her husband had a hollow weenie

What is another difference between a circus and a whorehouse?

My husband doesn't go to the circus

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

Where did the tornado go?

Me: Don't worry. It's gone. 6: To where Me: It just disappeared 6: Isn't that a little bit fishy

How did the dollar bill feel when his change started disappearing?

Coincerned

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

A: To the moovies.

What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday?

Saturday Night Fever.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.

Why are you all so excited it's Friday?

Monday will be here in 5 minutes.

Easter Jokes More Easter Jokes

Why is business good on Easter?

Because prophets rise

What's the opposite of Easter?

Wester