What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce?

I did not see that coming.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does your wife/girlfriend want more than anything in the world?

Nothing, she's fine.

Why did the late man stand on the clock?

He wanted to be on time.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming?

A: SPLAT!!! He didn't.

Why shouldn't you tell a pirate your secrets?

They ain't private ears. (I don't care if a six year old came to this first thirty years ago, it just came to me.)

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the problem?

Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me petting a bee: You're not strange are you Alan

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if someone is a pilot?

They'll just tell you.

What did Miley Cyrus' dancing instructor tell her to do?

Hometwerk

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

How many divorced men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Who knows, they never get the house.

Ray Charles Jokes More Ray Charles Jokes

Why do single people take dating advice from other single people?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.

What's the difference between Ray Charles and Ray Rice?

Ray Charles wasn't a one-hit wonder.