Why do people always talk in absolutes?

I would never do that. It's the worst.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"

Why did people hate going on road trips with Kurt Cobain?

Because he always called shotgun

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car?

One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was.

How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Well first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

Absolute Jokes More Absolute Jokes

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.