Absolute Jokes

What do short people call something that's too high up?

Absolute zero, because it's impossible to reach

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero?

Are you 0K

Why do people always talk in absolutes?

I would never do that. It's the worst.

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Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

What's the deal with airline food?

Buy 2 get 1 free

What did the mods say when they found me giving Reddit gold to my alt account?

He who smelt it, dealt it.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What products do I use for grooming?

She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook."

What does Popeye use to toss his salad?

Olive Oil.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many people from Chernobyl does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They glow in the dark.

How many Public Radio hosts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

We'll be back with that answer right after this pledge break.

Negative Number Jokes More Negative Number Jokes

Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

What do mathematicians get if they stare at the roots of negative numbers for too long?

Square eyes

Freeze Jokes More Freeze Jokes

What do freezing rain and cake icing have in common?

Both are a glaze

What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

Zero Jokes More Zero Jokes

What is zero in Roman numerals?

Nothing

What do you call a scale that always resets itself to zero?

Tareable

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?

A: No fee--If No Recovery!

What is the difference between a Train and an Hamster ?

The train got windows

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did the drunk Chinese customer say to the bartender?

No have to cut me off. Fall off barstool by myself. end metajoke

What did the squirrel say when he fell out of the tree and broke his leg?

AAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!