Why do they say cleanliness is next to godliness?

Because every time i talk dirty to my wife she tells me to go to hell.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do hand grenades and wives have in common?

Remove the ring and your house is gone.

What are you praying for?

Husband: For guidance. Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!!

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk?

Disney spells.

How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?

If it's a good one you will be able to talk about it later!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

What's the easiest way to tell if somebody's lying?

He/she's not sitting or standing!

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Why There is No Readhead in Hell ?

God does not punish twice.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

Hell-if-I-know