How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the cat say when the delivery man was leaving?

Purolator.

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?

They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you confuse Pareto?

Tell him you belong to "the" 20%.

Why couldn't the Pokemon tell a joke?

Because he fainted.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?

dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

How do you hide money from a hippie?

Put it under the soap.

How do you stop a hippie from drowning?

Take your combat boot off his head.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape?

He does lots of bare-obics.

How did you manage to stay single for so long?

Single Handedly

Ma Jokes More Ma Jokes

What is it called when a thief steals a purse, runs into the street, then gets run over?

ma

What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike?

Look ma, no hands!