Why does she keep cleaning the floors?

Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba.

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Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.

Where does the Empire buy their robes?

The Darth Mall!

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Who do you call to clean up foul language?

A cuss-todian!

Why is it NASA has never sent a woman to the moon?

It don't need cleaning!

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

Floor Jokes More Floor Jokes

What are these clothes on the floor?

A dead Jedi" I replied

What stops your hair from falling?

The floor