Why would anybody ever want to visit New Brunswick?

I hear their bowling alleys are pretty nice.

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What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student?

A philosophy student asks you you want fries with that

Who should you pray to if you don't want the airplane that you are on to get diverted?

Diversion Mary

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What did the gardener yell when his vegetarian friend visited?

Run Berry, run!

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

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What did the Zionist rabbi say when he heard about the plight of the Palestinian people?

Never mind their wailing. We'll just build more walls!

What do you call people with big ears?

Nothing, they might hear you

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Why shouldn't anybody help cats down a tree?

Because they're stuck up

Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins?

Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.