Why would I want to quit smoking?

Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer

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What word starts with "n" and you never want to call a black person?

Neighbor

What's the hurry?

Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.

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What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes."

What do you call a group of IT guys that smoke meth?

Geek Squad

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What are two letters a Brit can't live without?

T and Qs.

What's the difference between people on Reddit and dead people?

Dead people had lives.

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Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.

Why did the programmer quit his job?

Because he didn't get arrays.