Why would I want to quit smoking?

Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer

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Why did the midget get kicked out of the putt putt course?

because he wanted to play minijerkoff.

What do you call a deaf quadriplegic?

Whatever you want

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What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer?

Depends what you smoke. (Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)

What do you call a tree that smokes weed?

Snoop Log

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Which is the oldest animal?

Zebra. Coz they are still living in black and white.

Why is the vice president always so self-obsessed?

Because he lives at the navel observatory

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What did the fast food employee do when he decided to quit?

He chicken tendered his resignation.

What do you call a Pokemon who is trying to quit smoking?

Vaporeon