Alan Rickman Jokes

Who's there? Alan Rickman and David Bowie. Alan Rickman and David Bowie who?

Alan Rickman and David Bowie have both died recently.

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What did Alan Rickman say as he stood over David Bowie's grave?

Mind if I Slytherin

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How did the stoner die?

Blunt force trauma.

Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!

David Bowie Jokes More David Bowie Jokes

What are Gene Wilder and David Bowie getting for Christmas this year?

Betty White.

What did David Bowie want for Christmas?

Carrie Fisher.

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

Why shouldn't you talk to someone with a brain tumor?

because they've got a lot on their mind.

How is your job and your wife different?

I don't mind telling work the other jobs I've done

Snape Jokes More Snape Jokes

Why can't Snape teach Herbology?

A. He can't keep the lilies alive.

Why was Snape in the middle of the road?

So you would never know what side he was on.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why did the farmer get nominated for an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field. Why didn't the farmer make it to the award ceremony Because he was out standing in his field.

When do you kick a midget in the balls?

When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice