Old Tree Jokes

Why are the old trees always yelling?

They were all petrified.

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What did the dog say to the old tree?

Bark

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What's green and hangs from trees?

Elephant snot. Funniest part is seeing people's reaction when you tell it.

What does a suicidal person say while leaving a party?

I want to hang by myself for a bit. Edit: Not suicidal. Just gallows humor.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What do you yell at a Muslim striptease?

Show me your nose!"

Why is there lipstick on your collar?

she yelled. "It's part of the design," I said, opening up my wardrobe, "Look, I have the entire collection."

Petrify Jokes More Petrify Jokes

What happened to the dinosaurs that first was aware of the metheorite?

The where petrified.

What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber?

He was petrified.

Lightning Bolt Jokes More Lightning Bolt Jokes

Where do lightning bolts go on dates?

To cloud 9

What type of music do lightning bolts listen to?

Rock and Roll

Bark Jokes More Bark Jokes

What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole ?

A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree !

What do Trees and Dogs have in common?

Bark.