Pub Jokes

Why would Bart Simpson never go to a pub?

Because there's a BartEnder there.

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What do you call a pub for lesbians in circus outfits?

A Clown-Dyke-Bar Credit to

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

Why the big pause................................?

Said the man in the pub to the bear. First heard this joke told by Eddie Izzard.

What do you call sunscreen in Ireland?

Pubs

What is the difference between a pub and an elephant fart?

One is a bar room, and one is a Barooooooooooooom!

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

What do you call Irish sunscreen?

A pub.

What do you call an aardvark that's been thrown out of a pub?

A barredvark!

Why did she get entry to the pub without paying a single penny?

Cause she being she, wasn't even worth a penny. (/hehheh)

Why did the Irish man never get caught drink driving?

Because he never left the pub.

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