Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

About 45 pounds. What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend 45 minutes

What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant?

You have diafetus

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

What do Pink Floyd &amp Dale Earnhardt Sr. have in common?

Their last biggest hit was The Wall

What do you call a dead baby hanging on a wall?

Art

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What's that thing called where every time you stand up you have to limp for the first minute?

Oh yeah...39

What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady?

but we would never know because he couldn't stand up

Hem Jokes More Hem Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

Pub Jokes More Pub Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

Why did the Irish man never get caught drink driving?

Because he never left the pub.