How can you ever be late for anything in London?

They have a huge clock right in the middle of the town.

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Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

How can you tell which end of a worm is which ?

Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs !

What has a beginning and an end, but nothing in the middle?

Life.

Town Jokes More Town Jokes

What do the lady reindeer do on Christmas eve?

They hit the town and blow a few bucks.

Why is it I cant get a mobile reception in my house in town, yet a terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afganistan?

Is there a terrorist mobile tariff I can go on

London Jokes More London Jokes

Why was the London sperm bank so unsuccessful?

The were only two donors. One came on the bus, the other missed the tube.

Why don't bars in London have Happy Hour?

They're in Greenwich Mean Time.