How can you tell the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

The picture doesn't scream when you hang it.

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What do a lonely astronaut and your thumbs have in common?

They both hang out at the Space Bar.

What do you call someone who spends the whole time on their phone whenever you hang out?

A phoney friend!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you call a funny hill?

Hilarious ... My little sister told me this and I wasn't expecting it at all. :

What kind of stories does Eli Whitney tell on Easter?

Cottontales

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?

A: So she could use it as a mirror.

What did the defendant say when he saw his picture hung up in the courtroom?

I've been framed.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's the difference between a kid and a drawer?

A drawer won't scream when I force my junk into it.

What is the difference between a doorknob and a Zika baby's head?

When you twist the doorknob it doesn't scream.