How do you catch a whale?

You wait until last call and use a good pick up line.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate use the bubblegum vending machine?

Because there is no quarter for the wicked.

What do pessimists use... Q: What do pessimists use to wash their clothes?

A: Deterrent.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What is the difference between a Mercedes and a Lexus?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Lexus...

Why don't they let gansters play Quidditch?

Cause gangsters always catch the snitch!

Whale Jokes More Whale Jokes

Why do whales have really good immune systems?

They consume a lot of vitamin SEA!

Where do you go if you need to weigh a whale?

A whale-weigh station!

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How do you get a Ford recalled?

Wait.

Why did the chiropractor have trouble waiting behind people?

Because he didn't know what alignment. I hope this one cracks you up!