How do you get a kid to stay low to the ground?

DUCK!" How do you get a kid up and running "GOOSE!"

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How many kids does Adrian Peterson have?

More than you can shake a stick at

How do they pick kids for the Make-A-Wish Foundation?

Natural selection.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the recent KKK hit-and-run victim order at Starbucks?

A flat white.

What do you call a giant squid who runs a tow service in Indonesia?

A Kraken-towa!

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How did Jesus stay in such good shape?

Cross fit.

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic agnostic who has insomnia?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

Why do you smell like weed?

Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(

Goose Jokes More Goose Jokes

What happens when geese land in a volcano ?

They cook their own gooses !

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose