What happens when you goose a ghost?

You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What would happen if Russia ran out of vodka?

Well, my dear reddit, in nature there is law of conservation of matter. Therefore, if the vodka disappeared somewhere, it would appear somewhere else. And then there would be Russia.

What happens when the man shakes?

The windows milk shake!

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How long does it take light to travel from the sun to the earth?

Not nearly as long as it would take to travel around your mom.

What does your mom and your driveway have in common?

They both have a GARBAGE box.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why will a blonde laugh at a joke three times?

A: Once when you tell it once when you tell her the punchline and once when she gets it.

What was the last thing that went through the Sandy Hook child's mind?

A bullet. I apologize if that joke was aimed for a younger audience. I love Sandy Hook jokes, they never get old. Just like those children.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

How are you feeling Grandpa?

Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

What do ghosts call their true love?

Their ghoul-friend

What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo jeans.

Sheet Jokes More Sheet Jokes

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

Goose Jokes More Goose Jokes

When Geese fly in a "V" formation, do you know why one side of the "V" is longer?

There's more geese on that side.

What happens when geese land in a volcano ?

They cook their own gooses !