What happens when you goose a ghost?

You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when a pope dies?

Another pops up.

What happens if the baby pees?

Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do your mom and Jesus have in common?

They both got nailed

Why was the baby strawberry sad?

His mom was in a jam.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

When you tell Optimus Prime a joke, what do you hear?

Vehicular man's laughter

How do the Kardashians tell a joke?

They get Kim to talk slowly to him.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why did the drill sergeant get a dishonorable discharge?

He couldn't keep his hands off his privates

How many redditors commenting on a given post does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Not possible. Their hands are too slippery with each other's ejaculate.

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

Why were the ghosts wet and tired?

They had just dread-ged the lake.

Why was the ghost uneducated?

He was too ghoul for school

Sheet Jokes More Sheet Jokes

What's better than a violin on your bed?

A fiddle between the sheets

Why does Al Gore hate Oil Spills?

they get all over the sheets.

Goose Jokes More Goose Jokes

How can you tell if your goose is depressed?

It's feeling down.

How do you get a kid to stay low to the ground?

DUCK!" How do you get a kid up and running "GOOSE!"