What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What car did the Apostles drive?

Hint:Acts 2:1 KJV)

What type of car would the Hamburglar drive?

A Hamburghini.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What time is it in Ireland when someone farts too much?

Two-forty (use an Irish accent)... It's two-farty

How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?

They use a Milwaukee-Talkie

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?

Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions

When a guy yells out, "Linda why didn't you give your mom any grandkids?

She yelled back, "Because I swallowed them all!"

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How many men escaped the destruction of Sodom?

A Lot.

What does a depressed girl do when she needs to get a lot of work done?

She takes Sadderall.

Fuel Jokes More Fuel Jokes

What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour?

A fuel injected pickle.

What does the train use to fuel it's gaming addiction?

Steam. I'm so sorry.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing ?

An elephant's shadow !

What weighs 35 tons has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old?

Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus.