What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do a car, a bus, and a family have in common?

The car and the bus both have wheels.

Why is the LSU football team like my car?

They both used to have Les (less) Miles!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do black men make such good husbands?

Because they're already used to being whipped.

What does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella for?

Fo Drizzle!

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What did the dumb blonde say when told that "Scheherezade" was composed by Rimsky-Korsakov ?

A: "Why'd his mom choose to call him Rimsky of all names !! "

What do you call a kid who's dad is Jamaican and mom is Chinese?

Rastafriedrice

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why are cigarette taxes such a safe bet right now?

One way or the other, there's going to be a lot of smoking over the next four years.

How do you know Stephen Hawking has jungle fever?

He knows a lot about black holes

Fuel Jokes More Fuel Jokes

What to Australian Trains use as fuel?

Coal-Ala

What fuels electronics but drains a relationship?

Battery

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?

He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!

Where do you weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow.