What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What did the cow say when she got hit by a car?

Moo." What did the cow saw when she fell into a ditch? "Moo." What did the cow say when she fell onto the electric fence? "Moo." What did the cow say when she got hit by a train? "Why does everything always happen to meeee?" Protip: My dad wrote this joke for me when I was six.

Why did the car thief drill holes in the air conditioning units of the cars he stole?

Because he my take your ride but he will never take your freon.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you use to clear the air of stupid?

A HERPA filter

How do trees use the Internet?

They log on

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do your mom and Jesus have in common?

They both got nailed

How old is your girlfriend?

She's52" "Haha, dude, she could be your mom!" "Yeah, actually it's yours"

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A lot, apparently. Have you seen their new building?

How do you write an essay that blows people away?

With lots of drafts

Fuel Jokes More Fuel Jokes

What to Australian Trains use as fuel?

Coal-Ala

What do you call a vehicle with no fuel in Africa?

Outtagascar

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What's as big as a horse but weighs nothing?

A horses shadow!

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.