How do you get people to quit smoking?

Cut off their lips

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Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.

What did the big chimmney say to the little chimmney?

Stop smoking. You are too young to smoke

People Jokes More People Jokes

What's the one public place that most people still support the separation of Colors and Whites?

The laundromat.

Why do they build fences around graveyards?

Because people are dying to get in

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the programmer quit his job?

Because he didn't get arrays.

Why are you not laughing?

Cos I'm quitting today."

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a tree?

Trees don't bleed when you cut their limbs off.

What is the hardest part of cuting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

Why can't you hear a dog whistle?

Because they have a hard time puckering their lips the right way.

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.