How do you get rid of pubic lice?

Seriously, it is not a joke. I really want to know.

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What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

What did the World Chess Champion ask Michael Jackson?

Do you want to be black, or white

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Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena?

I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016.

Why did Vietnam revolt against the French?

Because they knew they would Nguyen.

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What was the first joke ever written?

Ugh, Ugh Ugh? Uggh!

What's so unfunny that it's funny?

An anti-joke.

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How do cops get rid of flies?

They call in a S.W.A.T. team

How do you get rid of an itch?

Start from scratch.