Rid Jokes

How does a mathematician get rid of constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach

How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!

How to you get rid of the dandelions on your lawn?

Paint one of them black the others will move away.

Why did Loki want the tesseract?

to get rid of his tesserection

How do you get rid of a Reddit admin?

Chooter

How do you get rid of chewing gum in your hair?

Cancer :)

Why did Caitlyn Jenner have a differently spelled version of Caitlin?

Because she can't get rid of the Y chromosome

How do you get rid of pubic lice?

Seriously, it is not a joke. I really want to know.

How do cops get rid of flies?

They call in a S.W.A.T. team

How do you get rid of an obese demon?

You exercise it.

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What's the difference between a kid and a cat?

Who has the diploma when you get rid of them.

How do you get rid of an itch?

Start from scratch.

How do you get rid of somebody?

Give them a ticket for a flight on Malaysian Airlines and hope that they will live up to their reputation!

What happened when Canada got rid of the penny?

Canadians became *penniless*

What the hell are you doing?

America: Getting rid of u

Why are oil miners and police men mortal enemies?

One brings black stuff and the other gets rid of it

Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car?

She got tired of all that Cruise control.

Why did ginny make harry get rid of his invisibility cloak?

He kept coming out of no where

How can one get rid of the echo while playing a movie?

Get some furniture

What's the best kind of cream... ...to get rid of spots and bug bites?

Creamation.

What do you get if you cross a skunk with a boomerang?

A: A nasty smell that you can't get rid of.

What shape gets rid of curses?

A hexagon

What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

How do we get rid of Ebola?

Put all the infected on a Malaysian Airplane

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Chooter Jokes More Chooter Jokes

What would a reddit restaurant be called?

Chooters

How do you get rid of a Reddit admin?

Chooter

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

What is the thing called that irrigates your lawn?

A garden Jose.

What's Irish and sits on your lawn?

paddy o' furniture

Caitlyn Jenner Jokes More Caitlyn Jenner Jokes

Why does Caitlyn Jenner feel like her kids see though her?

I guess she is trans parent now Edit: *through

Why won't Caitlyn Jenner go to Taco Bell?

She doesn't want another Bell not accepting her for who she is.

Loki Jokes More Loki Jokes

Why did Loki want the tesseract?

to get rid of his tesserection

Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?

He can never find the Loki.

Itch Jokes More Itch Jokes

What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ?

Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.

Constipation Jokes More Constipation Jokes

What does a mathematician do when he gets a constipation?

He works it out with a pencil

How does a mathematician deal with constipation?

He grabs a pencil and tries to work it out

Exercise Jokes More Exercise Jokes

Why did the sailboat start exercising?

It wanted to get into ship-shape. HA!

How do you get rid of an obese demon?

You exercise it.

Pencil Jokes More Pencil Jokes

What did one pencil say to the other?

2B or not 2B?

How do mathematicians deal with constipation?

They work it out with a pencil.