How do you measure a snake?

In inches. Snakes don't have any feet.

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Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Why did Neil Armstrong get to set foot on the moon before Buzz Aldrin?

They wrestled over it. Neil had the stronger arm.

What's the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer?

The podiatrist bucks up your feet.

Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

What did one snake say to another ?

Hiss off !

What do you call a snake that's 3.14 metres long?

A thon

Measure Jokes More Measure Jokes

What unit of measurement did the ancient greeks use to measure their crops?

Demeter.

How do you measure how sad someone is?

With a blues scale

Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

What's ten inches long and white?

Not a damn thing! I thought it was time we had some racist jokes towards someone who isn't black for once D

What should you do if your girlfriend is choking?

Back up a couple of inches.