How do you put a baby to sleep?

You rock them. What if it doesn't work? Use a bigger rock.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do pianists remember which groceries to buy?

They use a Chopin Liszt!

What will they now use on photos for LGBT magazines?

an airbroosh

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

Why are all black people scared of sleeping?

Cause one had a dream, and he died.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call a poor photographer who works for a tabloid?

A Pauperazzi

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why do you put a baby into a blender feet-first?

So you can see the look on its face. How do you get said baby out of the blender? Tortilla chips.

Whats easier than stealing candy from a baby?

Stealing candy from a dead baby.

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What are a terrestrial planet's favorite genres of music?

Rock and Heavy Metal

What do you call a singer gently swaying from one side to another?

A rocking Cher.

Big Rock Jokes More Big Rock Jokes

Where's the best place to hide an elephant?

Dad: Where is the best place to hide an elephant? Me: I don't know, behind a big rock? Dad: In a tree silly. Me: In a tree? Dad: When's the last time you saw an elephant in a tree?

How do you put a baby to sleep?

You rock them. What if it doesn't work? Use a bigger rock.