How does Jared like to play his flute?

In A minor.

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What vegetable likes to party?

A turn-up

What game do little cows like to play?

Moonopoly.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.

Why doesn't Jesus Play Hockey???

Because he doesn't want to be nailed to the boards.

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Why did the Chemistry Teacher go to Jail?

He got caught giving alcohol to minors.

Why did the guitarist get life in prison?

He fingered a minor.

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What happens when you mix Jared from Subway and Bill Cosby?

I don't know; It was too long ago, and I can't remember.

How did Jared lose 150lbs?

He kicked two 7-year-olds out of his bed.