How long have we been married dear?

Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.

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What are your thoughts on it?

ME: trying to impress her I have 6 wives

What's the worst part about working with a gamer?

They're always trying to 1-Up you.

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Why couldn't the melons secretly get married?

Because they were cant elopes

Which one is married?

The one with the wedding ring YOU SICK-O!

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What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

Why do social justice warriors hate math?

all the inequalities

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What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?

Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."

How do you scare a man?

Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.