How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Who let the boys out?

Me: Woof woof woof! Her: Who let the boys out ! Me: Woof woof woof! Her: KIDS ARE IN THE STREET! Me: I'm going..

Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'd just "let it go". My 6 year old told me this. I will show myself out now...

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why can't Charlie Sheen finish the alphabet?

Because when he gets to 'P' it burns.

What do Fort McMurray and a 1998 Pontiac Sunfire have in common?

Both are full of white trash and smell like burning oil.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many activists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because they can't change anything.

How many flys does it to take screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, although it's probably screwed in too tight anyway.

How many atheist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It will happen itself.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

What was Philip Seymour Hoffman's favorite album this year?

Pure Heroine by Lorde.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for another 15 years.

What followed the dinosaur ?

It's tail !