How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

Me: I see myself you friggin idiot. Let me see your degree

What's the one movie that Rick Astley won't let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How did the mobster burn his lips on a tailpipe?

He tried to blow up a police car.

What did God say when he saw the first black person?

Ooops, I burnt one!

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

It was too bright in here anyway.

How many Hal 9000 computer systems does it take to change a lightbulb?

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I cannot do that"

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb should be willing to change.

How many OU (University of Oklahoma) coaches does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They aren't about to change a bulb when flipping a switch has worked for 15 years.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What time does Sean Connery show up at Wimbledon every year?

About tennish.

What do recent college graduates and felons have in common?

It takes three to five years before anyone will hire them.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4?

3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)

What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load into the washing machine it doesn't follow me around