How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, except she scissors it in.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Woah woah woah... I never said there was a lightbulb!

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

17, 1 to hold the lightbulb, 1 to hold the ladder and the other 15 to drink whiskey until the roof spins

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

What has 75 balls and screws old ladies?

Bingo!

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. But I don't know how they got in there.

Lesbian Jokes More Lesbian Jokes

What does a lesbian pirate say?

Scissor me timbers!

What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker?

Ones a snack cracker and the others a crack snacker.

Scissor Jokes More Scissor Jokes

What do you call an innovation in scissors?

Cutting-edge technology

What do you get when you stab a toddler with a pair of scissors?

An erection.